“I’ll be happy when...” “Once I’ve... then I’ll...”
You are most likely familiar with these phrases. You may have even uttered them yourself at some point, but as any half-decent life coach will tell you these phrases are inherently problematic. Telling yourself that you need to first reach some arbitrary goal in order to reach happiness only subjects you to an indefinite period of unhappiness until you reach it. Similarly, if you put off all the great things that you want until later, then are you not just prioritising what does not mean much in the grander scale of things?
Now, here’s the part where the half-decent life coach points out that yes, it is important to set goals and time management is not the same as procrastinating happiness but what is the point of purposefully making yourself miserable in the here and now?
But here’s something that only someone above half-decent understands, sometimes just making yourself happy or just doing what you want right now is a little complicated, and complications don’t just disappear just because you want them to. Decomplicating whatever it is in your life that holds you back - like any worthwhile thing - takes time, and in most cases, a lot of it.
So please grant me this one favour, if not for me then definitely for yourself. Please do not allow time to hold you back. We live in a postmodern world that values instant gratification above all else. Time is money after all. But if you cannot invest in yourself then what can you invest in?
Think of it this way, if you want to travel cross country and see the sights. Don’t let the thought of a 13-hour drive stop you. Embrace those hours instead, take stops along the way to do more than just smell the roses. I have found that when my gratification has been delayed the result tastes that much sweeter.
It’s the journey that makes the destination worthwhile. So just enjoy the ride.
By Jay-S Tshabalala